Palmistry

Early September 1990- Perspective Esther

What was most remarkable about the man was  that he took part in  the program of this introduction week for students in Utrecht. He seems so out of place.
Late forties, quite casually dressed, sitting on a simple chair, nothing really special. No bells and whistles were applied to give his palmistry a more exotic touch.

Still, when I heard the predictions for my peers, I had to smile.
The conventional phrases like 'you're going to travel' and 'You will meet a tall dark man "and" I see a large family' made up a fair part of his repertoire.
All the girls giggled.

We found ourselves, open, yet with slightly trembling knees  on the threshold of a new phase of life. These are our first steps really away from home, moving into a future as adults , our expectations high.

"Well," I think indulgent, appreciative of the simple innocence of this type of entertainment , "I might shuffle forward too, just for fun, to show him my hands, despite the fact that normally this stuff is really not my cup of tea.."

Shortly before he starts talking to me, I just check with myself that a large family and travel are not very high on my priority list. I appreciate that I already have a very nice tall friend with dark hair. Would he nonetheless use the same phrases on me?

Then, quite unexpectedly, the script runs as completely out of sync with what I have seen before with the others.

He looks straight at me, which was definitely not part of the act with the girls before me. In those few seconds of eye contact, I feel something stir deep inside me. I feel, I know with a strange but unquestionable certainty that he is in great confusion, shocked even.

Instead of the familiar flowing innocent sentences, all I hear at first  is a vague murmur. Although I try to look at him, he avoids all eye contact now completely. He is fully focused on something that fascinates him obviously in an uncomfortable way in my hand.

After a while he says, in a voice that I would call 'deeply moved', that he sees interesting lines in my hand. Lines he has never seen in real life before.

Lines that indicate a particular role, reusing …... something valuable that is very old.

Was this why he almost feel off his chair? Why do I still feel that he knows more than he can comfortably say , here, in this setting?

"What does that mean?" I try to get more details from him.

While the next student's steps forward, I hear him say: "You will probably focus on the recycling of old things" . It gets followed by a comment that I can only describe as 'quickly made up'. He  terminates the session with: "Perhaps refurbishing old furniture might be something for you?"

Now I'm confused!

I cannot place this incident. Even with my down to earth look at the world,  I cannot stick it  comfortably in the realm of well-intentioned nonsense with an entertainment factor.

His words were not what touched me most, grabbed me even.

It was his energy, the turmoil and confusion I felt coming from him that made me put it on the mental shelf of  the "special, potentially significant incidents'.